


unraveling

by jasondean



Category: bare: A Pop Opera - Hartmere/Intrabartolo
Genre: Gen, Teen Pregnancy, Underage Drinking, some other stuff?idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 12:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6566596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasondean/pseuds/jasondean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jealousy is an ugly thing, she knows, from the way other girls look at her, the distaste in their gaze leading to the venom pouring out of their mouths.</p>
            </blockquote>





	unraveling

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this back in the beginning of january! apologies if it sounds clunky at all, i believe i wrote this over the span of two days or something. it definitely wasnt one sitting, at least.

Looking back, she decides she was never a lucky girl. Jealousy is an ugly thing, she knows, from the way other girls look at her, the distaste in their gaze leading to the venom pouring out of their mouths.  
  
_Oh, I'm a slut now? I thought I was a selfish bitch. Or was that last week, huh? Am I confusing that with disgusting whore?_  
  
Ivy looks at herself in the mirror, finding calm in the pristine and perfect girl that stares back at her. She tries to give herself a smile, but her reflection just looks sad with the grin forced onto her face. Oh, no, no amount of under eye concealer or form-fitting clothes or cute little smiles will fool anyone, especially not her, into thinking she's okay.  
  
So what if she enjoyed the attention? Just because she's the model Catholic schoolgirl doesn't mean she's not human. Parents that fuss over divorce papers and estate settlements and money and this and that, they don't have time for daughters, not even perfect daughters with A+'s and a surplus of ambition.  
  
So, yes, she liked the way boys eyes trailed over her. Even if she occasionally felt like a slab of marbled meat. It was nice, for someone to recognize her effort. Even if she wanted to vomit after it was all said and done.  
  
"Would you ever sleep with me?" a fifteen-year-old Peter asks, his head resting in young Ivy's lap as they pass strawberry wine between them.  
  
"How do you know I'm not working on it?" Ivy giggles, sounding airy and buzzed.  
  
"Ivy," he whines, poking her thigh. She giggles harder.  
  
"'Cause I love you."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
Ivy's smile fades slightly as she looks down at the boy, his eyes shut and a silly grin painted on his lips.  
  
"It's not love. Not with those guys. Just fun."  
  
"You never make it sound like fun."  
  
And it's not fun. Peter knows her all too well. Or, at least, he used to. He doesn't know anything about the girl holding back tears in the bathroom two weeks before graduation, trying to figure out the next eighteen years of her life. All he knows is that he's angry. Of course, she doesn't know that for sure (after all, they haven't talked since it happened), but how couldn't he hold resentment towards her?  
  
Perfect Ivy. Perfect Ivy ruins everything.  
  
One could argue it was Matt who gave a final push, or Lucas who gave him his weapon.  
  
But if Ivy hadn't decided to get in another boy's pants, _just for fun_ , none of this would happen. Jason wouldn't be dead, she wouldn't be carrying his child. She wouldn't have fallen hopelessly in love with a boy who could never mirror her feelings. And she'd still have Peter.  
  
It's not like she knew Peter and Jason, were, well... Peter and Jason. She felt hurt at first, because God, how could Peter keep a secret like that from her? Why didn't he warn her, that this escapade would be her last and how it would end in total heartbreak.  
  
She takes in a shaky breath and sighs, willing herself not to let tears overflow onto her rosy cheeks. She still has time to figure it all out. Everything will be fine in time. Even if she really wants to, she just can't take the easy way out like him. She has two lives to care for now. No question about it. She's Catholic, for God's sake!  
  
And it's the last part of Jason McConnell this world has. She could never forgive herself for snuffing it's light.  
  
So she walks out of the restroom with a cheery expression, trying to ignore the whispers -- whispers about all the sin she's done in her short life.


End file.
